21st May 2020: An introduction pt3

My eight year old son often approaches my desk, making small talk before a request that he doesn’t want to aim at his father, because he’s learnt that if I’m busy I’ll usually grant him screen time. One day, earlier this year, he asked if I’d always wanted to sell holidays and I replied truthfully, that no, I had wanted to be a writer, feeling a flush of embarrassment that I’d revealed a dream that I’d kept hidden for most of my adult life. Despite his understanding of the give and take of conversation, he couldn’t understand why I wasn’t a writer if that was what I’d wanted to become, I mumbled a half-hearted excuse and granted him the iPad.
My life choices led to where I am now and I cannot regret these, because to do so would mean regretting my children, all four of them, and my two marriages. I was married and had a mortgage by the age of nineteen, giving up an NCTJ course and my hopes of studying Journalism at Bournemouth University. After my divorce and with two children in tow, I did complete a degree in History, but my dream of journalism was long gone. How could I become a features writer for Marie Claire with two young children? I met my husband whilst studying for my History degree and had two more children, with my hopes of becoming a writer now seeming as likely as my becoming an astronaut.

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    • This is the view from one of the trails at Parke in Bovey Tracey. There’s one little bench in a perfect spot and we have a tradition of walking to it at the beginning of September, with a flask of hot chocolate. I try to remember to take a photo of the children sat down so I can see how much they’ve grown.

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